Sufferfest weekend has long been circled on the calendar as the official start of the 2010-2011 nordic ski race campaign for the HURT faithful. With the boys-in-blue (or black now I guess) are off in Muonio the "green tide" is prepared to descend (or ascend) on the Prospect Highway. The "Team Director-Supreme-Overlord" has hopes his skiers from across the state to join in the campaign. Central Skiers, E. Luban, A. Luban and MDH may even attend after months of solid training blocks in the hills of central NY.
The Director, as with all great dictators/nordic masterminds, has waited until this moment to unveil some of the biggest team news yet. The following statement was issued by the Director himself to all major news outlets.
"In an unprecedented move, HURT nordic has now signed TWO new members to the HURT WOMEN's DIVISION. This is, and has historically been, a relatively untapped area of massive NYSSRA points and this news will no doubt strike fear and doubt into the hearts of the statewide rival clubs. Gabriella Frittelli (from the Saratoga area) and Elyse Sara (lives in Brooklyn, formerly a Nisky star) have signed lucrative one year deals with the club and both have plans to join the team on snow. Gabriella plans to join in the fun on Sunday. Elyse and Gabriella will join the stalwart group of Sherry Dixon, Jill Hamilton Kozoil, Kathy Schwenk (I apologize to KS for not looking at my updated form before the first draft) and of course "The Queen". The women's juggernaut may be tough to tangle with once the snow flies."
(Picture this train of women in HURT suits...you'll be seeing a similar sight all winter long!)
Additionally, It was learned by our investigative team at the HRT news room that a women's team prospect may be waiting in the wings if the conditions are right. Hat Nerz reports that a "yet to be named" prospect (hence-forth referred to as KP) will make her minor league debut as a Team "HOMP" (Hurt's Official Molly Pitcher). Don't let the minor league status fool you. She is one fierce mountain climbing champ and will utilize her skills to lighten the load for some of the HURT speedsters. She will also employ her cinematic skills to aid the lads in post race analysis. We caught up with the incognito KP.
HN: "So KP...you are an official HOMP for this years Sufferfest. How do you feel about this?
KP: "It's a complicated situation Hat, on one hand I probably could win this thing. I am really excited about the new wicked fast Atomic skis I just purchased and feel like I could probably tangle with Doug, Chris and some of the other heavy hitters. I mean, I never have been on rollerskis, but if men can do it, any woman can. Am I right ladies?! Holla!
HN: But your hiking instead....to support the HURT men?
KP: Look, Molly Pitcher is a gendered symbol of nationalism and in some academic circles is found to be an inappropriate symbol of prescribed roles that indicate that the women's place is to be on the sidelines supporting the men as they prepare for battle. Part of this turns my stomach, but the other part of me is like, "Hey, Check me out! I'm a HOMP! Those guys only have to do HALF the hiking that I do, AND they are doing the hiking the easy downhill part. PLUS I am carrying WAY MORE WEIGHT than any of them! Not to mention they are ROLLING! Who's SUFFERIN' Now! (wusses...whispered)
HN: Thanks KP, I am quite sure after this interview you will win the hiking division.
As a former longtime resident of Brooklyn, I welcome Elyse to the team. Gabriella too.
ReplyDeleteAnd KP isn't the only women's prospect waiting in the wings. Don't forget about KS in HURT Central, f/k/a HURT West.
The Queen will also be hiking to the top in a support role, and The Director will be there to crack the whip. The green tide will be everywhere.
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