Director Beats His Dad

(Article originally posted at www.sortafasterskier.hrt.uk.co)

SortaFasterSkier: So you finally beat your dad, it was a long time coming, how does it feel?

Director: Good overall, we all knew it was bound to happen any day, what with the huge strides I am making (winks to camera for effect).

SFS: So how did you do it?

Director: Well, as they say "this was not my first rodeo" so I came into Sunday's race with a detailed three part plan.

SFS: I should have know you came prepared, so how did the plan play out?

Director: Well I don't want to give away any trade secrets, but what the heck.

Step 1: I sent my dad out on a hard hike up Sawteeth Mountain the day before. I also mandated that he needed to wear snowshoes instead of crampons on the icy trail, this ensured lots of slipping and extra energy spent. Finally, after returning late in the day, I made him wax my skis, as my normal ski tech (Bjorn Nordhoff-Urhem) was out sick. This ensured a late bed time for him, all the while I was resting up and being pampered by my crew (thanks Mom!).

Step 2: The morning of the race I made sure Chris grabbed my dad to help set the course, while I laid low helping at registration and eating cookies. They had to ski and hike up that blasted mountain to set the hundreds of flags and then hike back down just before race start. Again, you can see my plan of tiring out my adversary.

Step 3: Finally, I made, how should I say, cough, cough "donations" to a select few skiers to make sure they fell down at certain key intervals in the race, holding up my dad. Boy did this ever pay off! I was expecting a stumble or little delay, I never would have guessed Jim and Chris (I mean skier A and skier B, who shall remain anonymous) would have pulled off such a great performance. They went down in bowling pin fashion right at the icy crux of the course. This section was steep, let me tell you. It made the Hill Of Death look like a pimple. But all this commotion really held up my dad, letting me ski to victory!

SFS: Wow, what an evil and cunning plan! No wonder other teams shake in their carbon skate boots when HURT rolls up. All this just to beat someone on your OWN team, and your dad at that, wow!

Director: Let me just iterate, no one stands between me and my goals. You don't rise to this type of power by lolly-gaging around picking flowers.