Stewart and Stanley

It has been a busy week at the HRT news room as summer has officially kicked off and HURT skiers are in full-on summer training mode. Reporters here have been spread thin keeping up with all things HURT. Running and bike miles have been logged, rollerski workouts completed and this week even saw HURT sages Roger Henry, Alec Davis and Joan Henry give intro lessons in canoe racing to M1 skier, David Kvam. When asked about his dabbling in a new endurance sport, Kvam replied "I thought after 30 minutes of canoeing I'd be able to double pole like Santor. It turns out, I was mistaken, damn....does this mean I have to buy a boat?...what are they...like 5 bucks?"

As we begin the countdown to the West Mountain Challenge: Junior Nordic Ski Camp on July 22nd we are happy to report that INSIDE EDGE SKI AND BIKE SHOP and THE SPORTSPAGE have been joined by STEWARTS SHOPS as official sponsors of this years camp. STEWARTS has graciously donated a number of pre and post training beverages to our skiers. The bevy of beverages will be available for our athletes who want some morning refreshment, an afternoon vitamin C kick, or post-run protein/calcium jolt. So if you like juices or milk....and free juices or milk....sign up today for the HURT junior nordic ski camp. Please be sure to have your registration form in to Dave by July 17th. Thanks to Stewarts for placing its name on this soon-to-be memorable weekend.

STEWARTS RULES!!! By the way.....join the milk club.....the Director does it.*



*There has been no conformation of the Director's involvement in the Stewart's milk club.

This week has also seen the HRT newsroom uncover a top secret operation developed in the deep bellows of the Director's elite underground training compound. We have little evidence of what actually happened this past week but we have uncovered a top-secret dossier simply entitled "Stanley Camp". Again, we know little about this operation and we sent a number of our best men and women reporters/paparazzi into the field to dig up answers. We were able procure a few fuzzy photographs from our HURT news blimp and after a great deal of research and several thousand ruples in bribes paid off we are able to release the following information.

"It appears, after months of negotiations, the Director has hired a Russian expatriate to serve as "Grand-Zcar-of-Junior-Development-and-Alternative-Training-Methods". The Director simply refers to his new head coach as "STANLEY". There is speculation that this is simply an acronym for the Russian Phrase "Sloyvokiv Tif Anukk Nief Loshoiuniv Ei Youarif" which means "Ski Fast or I will cattle-prod your a$&" It is guessed that this no-nonsense coach is in fact Youri Vouseliv who is the brother, of the cousin's husband of Yelena Vyalbe the Russian FIS official who has been dealing with allegations of a doping scandal on the Russian ski team. It is unclear whether this is of any significance at all. Whatever the case may be, "Stanley" held a multi-day development camp this past week. From the grainy photographs we received it appears that the camp may have included lessons in "levitation", "disk ballet" and "raising your arms in victory". All this seems to be aimed toward preparing HURT young guns for the ability to levitate over the Hill of Death and act victorious at the upcoming Iron Maiden Triathlon in Peru. We were fortunate to get one grainy photo of the new development coach as he watches disapprovingly as his new athletes go through the learning curve. Needless to say, the dynamic and fearsome Director has added a very powerful and intimidating wing-man. Skiers be warned."





"Who is STANLEY?"

Keep your eye on the HURT blog as we get closer to our HURT Junior Development ski camp. COUNTDOWN IS ON!